There are many reasons why we suffer poor mental health. Some of these are attributable to grief, trauma, and biological and psychological factors. But one of the biggest causes of anxiety and depression is the presence of entrenched conflict in our lives.
What is meant by the term in entrenched conflict?
Entrenched conflict speaks of a toxic and dysfunctional dynamic that is present in a relationship where parties are locked into their own view, which is usually poles apart from the other parties’ view. Where “truths” are nowhere near close, one to another.
One of the saddest things in anyone’s life is the presence of entrenched conflict that meanders on for years without hope of any reconciliation.
It may be that we are the ones that are hoping for a change in the other person’s heart.
In holding out hope, our hearts can grow sick when that hope is “deferred,” as Proverbs 13:12 mentions. In all truth, so many of us have had to get used to the fact that particular conflicts may never be resolved. There may never be reconciliation, even if we are prepared to forgive and/or be forgiven.
It may be that the other party is in control, and will not relinquish control, and so therefore we may vacillate between forgiveness and bitterness. In biblical terms, bitterness is not straight-forward within entrenched conflict. Bitterness can be because of grief. That’s not sin. Bitterness can also be in the other party for reasons they somehow enjoy. Bitterness is not simple.
Entrenched conflicts grieve the heart of God.
Sometimes it is us who have made the stand to separate ourselves from another person, people or community, for want or demand of self-protection. And even though we have created safety for ourselves by that separation, it can still often mean we may suffer anxiety and depression because of the truth we cannot deny, that never goes away, that we may not possibly become free of.
I also think of those of us who may feel threatened because of the mere presence of another person living in their proximity, or even the thought that the other party is an ever-present threat, whether they’re present or not. We can at times feel haunted.
When we feel anxious and depressed, because we are preoccupied by the hopelessness of our situation or are overwhelmed by our inability to have even a semblance of control over such an important part of our lives, we face truths that are altogether too stark.
These can be too much for us to bear,
where our hearts grow sick, and
our minds can feel tormented.
where our hearts grow sick, and
our minds can feel tormented.
How do we derive hope in these situations?
How can we envision a better future, or at least a satisfactory one?
In some ways, the present entrenched conflicts determine the shape of our future, until, that is, we recognise that we are in “the valley of decision.”
In Joel 3:14, the prophet uses this term, and the term implores serious reflection; a place of heart and circumstance where we have no option but to choose one way to go.
There comes a time in all our lives when we are brought to such stress in order that we would be forced to decide something. When the pain of change is less than the pain of staying as we are.
The greatest gauge for decision-making must be to do what is right, and that is not about doing what is right just for ourselves. Inevitably, however, we usually find the best decisions are somewhat self-serving, because others who are relying on us are simply trying to live their lives the right way and need to be supported.
If we are suffering anxiety or depression or exhaustion because of entrenched conflict, it may be that we stand on a precipice, at a poignant time of the year, when new decisions are easier to make, and new things are seemingly easier to do.
When we stand in the valley of decision, looking at the peaks on either side and ahead of us, it doesn’t just take courage to take the first step, because we need to discern in what direction that step is to be taken.
But, if we already know what direction
we need to head in, we simply
need the courage to take the first step
and by that courage the
spiritual stamina to keep stepping.
we need to head in, we simply
need the courage to take the first step
and by that courage the
spiritual stamina to keep stepping.
We must remind ourselves, and often,
that the Promised Land gets closer with each step.
that the Promised Land gets closer with each step.
No comments:
Post a Comment