PATRONAGE is a
role that has its nexus in the moment that a person or a couple or a group
feels more than adequately cared for. It’s a moment. It’s a moment because
people are prone to shift from a state of wellbeing into a state of need
without much warning, and quite unexpectedly. But that is the nature of someone
needing care. Most people needing such care need it intermittently, for a season.
They are not characterised in being overly needy; unless it pertains to caring
for an elderly parent or grandparent, or a relative with a disability. This
article is aimed primarily at the care of only emotional and spiritual needs.
If we are in a
situation of helping a person, or we help people, more generally, we will need
to attend to our own care needs — if we wish that our care might be available for
those who need it when they need it.
‘Caring for the
carer’ can become a rather tired and worn out cliché. But it is healthy licence
for some freedom related to contemplation, retreat, rejuvenation, and
replenishment.
Finding what
works for you and finding the time to get what you need; these are the
concurrent challenges that are faced. We then also need to ensure we take the
time when the time arrives. Too many of us have worked through a window of
opportunity — usually for good intents — only to find we used the time we
should have taken.
How we use the
time is important. Some of us enjoy ‘downloading’ with others, relationally.
Others will choose a good book. Others, again, choose to get some quiet time alone
in nature. Especially supercharged people will want to balance the needs of
other family.
The important
thing is noting the moment that you feel free. It might only be five minutes.
Sometimes we spend hours getting to that blissful five minute period — the climax
to reach. Strangely enough, even five minutes of breathing normally can inspire
a great deal of empowerment for the next interaction of care. Even better if we
can replicate this each day.
Such a time of
spiritual bliss, where the emotions are lifted into a smiling ether, is
palpable, if such a time is repeatable.
***
Feeling enabled to retreat and having the capacity to reflect
are what all carers need.
Our ability to help others is compromised if we don’t learn
to help ourselves.
© 2015 Steve
Wickham.
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