Everyone suffers imposter syndrome.
Everyone. At one point or other each and every single one of us thinks, “I don’t belong here,” or, “If only they knew how much of a fake I feel I am right now,” or, “I just hope I don’t mess this up!” Or, what about the thought, “I feel so far out of my depth right now.”
The latter one is poignant. It’s a fact that we stagnate in life if we’re not challenged, but when we’re challenged, we face many self-doubts.
When several stresses combine, at least for a time, we can feel frustrated and thwarted at the very least, and even overwhelmed and anxious. Fear is normal, and at least some of it is performance related.
But think about the many times you’ve felt inadequate or a fake, yet you’ve kept the faith and it’s worked out. Think of the times when our self-doubting drove us to reach out for support.
There’s nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about in feeling owned by the forces beyond us.
These forces drive us to seek support and draw upon resources, and that’s the epitome of humility—to rely on things outside us.
Think about leaders who are honest about being out of their depth; we appreciate their authenticity. We certainly knew it when a leader tried to fake it and couldn’t admit it; they projected aggression and almost everyone suffered the consequences. Feared reigned.
Think about anyone in a position of power, and their honesty to declare a vulnerable truth inspires us. That kind of ‘weakness’ is a strength.
Think of a parent who can apologise to their child for getting it wrong. That humility softens hurt hearts because justice is restored. The parent is saying in effect, “I failed that moment as a parent.” All parents fail.
Failure is not the end;
admitting it is hope for a fresh beginning.
The point to make about this is there’s humility in the honesty of confessing our fakery at least to ourselves. And it’s important that we don’t either shun ourselves for not being more genuine or hide in that shame terrified of exposure.
Our psychology suggests that imposter syndrome is a common, even daily, phenomenon for anyone who is self-aware. There are aspects of our lives and even entire seasons where confidence abides, but sooner or later we’ll have much cause to doubt whether we’ve got what it takes to succeed or even survive.
It’s good just being honest.
It saves a lot of anxiety and it’s also empowering to others when we pick our moments to tell it like it is. Being honest about how we’re really feeling doesn’t so much bring the consternation of others, but it inspires others to be honest about how they’re really feeling.
No comments:
Post a Comment