Empathy for the Overwhelmed

I’m glad (but I’m really not) that I frequently feel overwhelmed—glad only because I feel I can empathise.  So I can see why it’s important to experience or have experienced various kinds of suffering.

We all have times when we’re overwhelmed.

There are myriad ways we can feel overwhelmed, and often it’s the case that it’s a combination of factors that form a confluence of attack on our wellbeing.

For me personally, it’s usually more than just reaching my threshold of workload—but too much of that leads to the onset of burnout.  But add some personal conflict, stress related to a relationship, together with a lot on my plate, and I’m easily overwhelmed.

But I’m not everyone.

We all suffer when we operate in overwhelm for too long, when we deny again and again what we’re really feeling.  Feelings are an important thing to face.  Rather than continue to deny them, which we only introject into ourselves as stress that we eventually dissociate from, we’ve got the opportunity to apply courage.

That’s what it takes to relieve the overwhelm.

But it’s understandable when feelings are big to avoid them.  We’ve all evaded our feelings.  There’s no shame in running from what’s hard.  We’ve all had our Jonah moments when we couldn’t face what perhaps we needed to.

Much of the time when we are facing momentous and challenging times, we don’t sense the strength and comfort we’d gain from the counsel and support of empathetic others.

There are people we all know who love to help others through a silent, reassuring comfort of just being present, listening, and in terms of ‘advice’, offering only their own stories as good mentors do.

Battling in the overwhelm is no fun at best and desperate work for survival at worst.

You can feel as though there’s no hope, as if all the air’s been sucked out of your lungs, as if your head is going to explode, and your heart’s about to stop.  Insight is hard to manage at these times, so go gently, breathe, find room for space—whatever space you can get, whether it’s time or silence or solitude or sleep (if you can).

There’s no fun in the overwhelm, but if you picture action to reduce the pressure, the overwhelm can be the catalyst for change you need.

Allow me to leave you Psalm 30, and look especially at verses 5 and 11:

A psalm.  A song.  For the dedication of the temple.  Of David.

¹ I will exalt you, Lord,
    for you lifted me out of the depths
    and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
² Lord my God, I called to you for help,
    and you healed me.
³ You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead;
    you spared me from going down to the pit.

⁴ Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people;
    praise his holy name.
⁵ For his anger lasts only a moment,
    but his favour lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
    but rejoicing comes in the morning.

⁶ When I felt secure, I said,
    ‘I shall never be shaken.’
⁷ Lord, when you favoured me,
    you made my royal mountain^[c] stand firm;
but when you hid your face,
    I was dismayed.

⁸ To you, Lord, I called;
    to the Lord I cried for mercy:
⁹ ‘What is gained if I am silenced,
    if I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
    Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
¹⁰ Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me;
    Lord, be my help.’

¹¹ You turned my wailing into dancing;
    you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
¹² that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
    Lord my God, I will praise you for ever.