Inspired by a bloke named Wayne Schwass, speaking on the occasion of a good mate’s death, we call this moment a moment to be truthful. It’s a moment we claim as men to say to other men, “Now’s the time, men, for us to stand together, and to be known as stronger for showing our weakness and for bearing it together.”
Why? Because we can. We need to. We’ve lost too many brothers, sons, fathers, best mates, favourite teachers, footy coaches, old school mates, distant cousins, and in some cases, partners.
We’re chucking out, “harden up, princess.” It’s filth, men! For starters, none of us are women. And there’s nothing wrong with women! And as men with daughters, what do we think of our daughters? They are princesses!
We’re done with, “Take a chill pill… here’s a cup of concrete… harden up!” Far out. We’re done.
“Man up?” What does that even mean. Only the man who is honest about how he really feels is anywhere near manning up.
These are gutlessly dangerous statements, because nobody knows how the man who hears these callous jibes hears them, how he feels them to his core, how they erode him in his inner being; least of all the ‘man’ who says them.
It’s time for the men in the room, on the construction site, on the footy field, in the classroom, to say, “Enough’s enough, buddy! You’re out of line. You’ve got no idea what he might be carrying. Far too many of us carry far too much! So, back off.”
It’s okay to say, “I love you, bro… it’s okay mate… keep sticking with it, a day at a time… I’ve been there, mate… it’s the pits… but, I’m here for you anytime.”
Pray for the time a man calls you in tears or with fears; one that’s tired of the jeers. Ten minutes is all it might take to say, “Speak up, brother, there’s nothing you can say that will make me feel any less of you; in fact, you’ll only go up in my estimation when you have the guts to be real, to shake and shiver, and especially if you cry.”
So, men, there it is. Be real men and allow men around you the freedom of being real men. Support everyone you can, but most of all be humble and courageous enough to reach out regularly. Build your support network. Be proud of the fact you have mentors and mates who will hold you up, even as you hold them or others up when they need it.
Come on, men. Let’s BE men by managing our mental health, for ourselves, sure, but for all those who depend on us staying alive.
Men, you all mean so much more than you could ever know. So, always give it one more day, one more go, and know that digging deep is knowing when to speak up and not feel weak.
Photo by nikko macaspac on Unsplash
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