Don’t feel guilty for your recovery

When I was recovering from grief after my first marriage ended, I often wondered if I would ever be normal again. I pursued so much change in that season of life. I was open because I felt I had no choice. I desperately wanted my wife and life back. And I took multiple steps in the Australian Spring of 2003 to right my ship.

Little was I aware of it at the time, but that process continues today!

But the major point I want to impress upon you in this short piece is that, while the work of recovery can seem like such a waste of time, it is actually the cornerstone from which a new life is being built.

We ought not to despise the fact that we’ve been ‘sidelined’ for such a time as this!

But we so easily do,
and guilt plays a huge role in this.

We feel guilty for needing this time to rebuild, when life is happening right here, right now. We definitely feel we’re letting people down, even paradoxically amid change they will have to come to grips with. These changes are good, of course, but any change within us requires adjustment in others, and unless they can see the big picture, it feels like work for them. We feel guilty for the paroxysm of pain we bear within our own change; that roller coaster of emotions that others we care about must ride with us.

And there are myriad other varietals of guilt, that, for the purposes of this article, cannot be stated.

The work of recovery requires great faith.

This cannot be overstated. Constantly in recovery we’re an arm’s length from giving up and giving in to the temptation to quit and go an easier way that seems wiser, but isn’t. It’s never wise to put off the inevitable.

Every time we take up the cudgel of courage amid that screaming voice within us to give up or give in, we apply our faith, and as a muscle, our faith grows. Every time. Faithfulness means consistency.

We must take the hard and sacrificial choice to keep going on our recovery journey or we’ll never arrive. We need to say to the voice of guilt, “Back off, you’ve got no voice here!”

Guilt, if we listen to it, persuades us through a bizarre logic that always seems sensible at the time, only to be revealed as nonsensical in the cold light of day.

So, don’t feel guilty for taking the time, for getting the therapy, the support, the help, you need.

Don’t even enter into dialogue with guilt, because it’s straight from the enemy. Instead, replace the desire to feel better with doing something positive and proactive for your recovery.

You’re on a good path so long as the planned renovations are on track. Keep going. You can do this!

Think on these terms: everything of who you are becoming has its essence emergent from this season. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Give yourself more time not less. And keep the faith.

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash