Only through you being you can God do what God’s got to do

How are you going?  Do you have enough passion?  Or, is it waning right now?  Are you at the point where you just want to give up?  Or, is there a fire in your belly and speed in your legs?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Are you on fire for something?  Has something grabbed you, or do you hold out hope that it will?  Or, has your life fire been extinguished already?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Will you go to your grave satisfied?  Or, will the grave swallow you up, content that you made no difference at all?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

In your going out and coming home, are you doing what God put you on this earth to do?  Or, in your going out and coming home are you just going through the motions of a futility you can’t reconcile?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Are you growing in the direction of God’s will for you?  Or, have you been stagnating for what the good Lord knows is too long already?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Are you completely free of others’ expectations, having no fetters to contain your expression?  Or, are you morbidly afraid of failure, of your words or thoughts or deeds coming to nothing, of people laughing at you, of being insignificant?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Are you using all of your life experiences and gifts and heart to make the difference on this earth that only you can, while you can?  Or are you defeated, thinking your life experiences have pigeonholed you, that you have no gifts, or your heart is no good?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Do you wake up of a morning or an evening with a passion for purpose flowing through your mind?  Or, do you wake and very quickly commiserate or disintegrate?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Have you found the place of solace in forging ahead the path of God’s destiny for you?  Or, are you still languishing in comfortable spaces amid people who are congratulating themselves about being content in doing nothing?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Are you accustomed to life on a rollercoaster or life as a ocean cruise?  Are you thankful for that rollercoaster that builds resilience in you?  Or do you complain in desiring the numbing cruise, when your purpose was the ride those heights and negotiate those dips?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Can you wrestle with aspiring for contentment in a life that seems hardly to make any sense?  Or, are you determined to make sense of everything as you wrangle in a quest for your own fully paid-down version of insanity?  Could it be that life isn’t supposed to make any sense to your and my way of thinking?  Doesn’t acceptance promote empathy?  Doesn’t acceptance reveal wisdom?  Doesn’t acceptance show the depths of character?  Doesn’t acceptance generate peace?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Is it possible that everything that requires fixing is possible only as we believe it is possible?  Or, have you become so jaded that you believe this world is beyond reformation?  Have you ceased to believe?  Or, are you up for a fresh fight that you know your God wants from you?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Are you identifying the many things that you were taught that are wrong, unlearning those unright things, forgiving your teachers, resting in the pedagogical mystery?  Or, are you either stubbornly holding onto the untruths taught to you, or resenting those who placed them there inside you?  Are you experiencing the peace that comes with letting go?  Has freedom’s empowerment come into you that comes only from grasping truth?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Are the people you know, the people who have come into your life for a reason, free to be who they are, whether you like who they are or not?  Or, do you continue to persist in holding them to a standard that isn’t theirs?  Is it the past’s futility that you invest in, or is it the preciousness of future?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Have you managed to look above the present overwhelm in faith, to hold out hope for an answer that may not be there?  Or, have you resigned yourself to the miniscule possibilities that only what you think can happen will happen?  Have you shut God out?  Have you said, “God, you no longer move”?  Or, do you live and breathe knowing that God’s about to do something?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Have you comprehended recently the miracle that you are alive for such a time as this?

Only through you being you
can God do what God’s got to do.

Photo by Abbass Zahreddine on Unsplash

Why it’s good to be real about your mental health

One of the most encouraging things any of us can do for another person is to tell the truth about how we feel.  It gives them permission to tell the truth about how they feel.  It gives us both license to be real within ourselves and with each other.

We love it when we can be our real selves, especially regarding the struggles we have.  It is freedom.  And this applies much more so to the Christian than it does to everyone else, because so many of us have become accustomed to wearing a mask.  How ironic at this COVID-19 time!

Although as Christians we’re commanded and empowered to tell the truth, we’re also more likely to hide our truth, for shame and guilt that perhaps our faith doesn’t work; that we don’t trust God enough.  We are conditioned to present an image that is full of joy, hope and peace.  Christians around us may project that image.  It’s hard to be open when the culture around us can seem to discourage it.  Is it any wonder that people with mental health issues don’t want to go anywhere near a church?

But, we know that depression and other mental illnesses don’t discriminate, and that they’re incredibly complex, and that just as many Christians battle with mental health issues as non-Christians do.  Having depression, anxiety or post-traumatic stress disorder, or some other condition, doesn’t whatsoever correlate with weak faith.  Indeed, those with mental health challenges may know deep down within themselves that they have a faith strong enough to get through their adversity one day, sometimes a single moment, at a time.

In fact, it takes exceptionally greater faith to keep stepping with the Lord through the dark nights of the soul.  And it’s this faith, if only others knew what we were dealing with, that would inspire others.  If only we have the courage to share how hard it is, we may stand to be encouraged, and we may be a source of encouragement, simply because we have stripped off the mask.  See how brave a person needs to be to tell a truth laced with inconvenience and vulnerability?  But of course we need to know our truth will be accepted, even embraced, and that we won’t face embarrassment or ridicule for it.

It’s good to be real about our depression and anxiety because an unnecessary burden is immediately relieved; we no longer have to carry the arduous weight of a lie!  We no longer need to prop up a perception, carry off a deceit, or project that we have it all together.

When we live openly in the light of the truth — that life is hard, each and every day, or most days — then we stand to be encouraged by others for the courage we’ve shown.  This equips others to employ their courage.

Being honest about where our mental health is helps to inspire others to be honest.  And when two people can be honest with each other, they give each other permission to be real, and there is no greater gift or blessing.  We have a chance to become who we are.

Perhaps the purpose of your depression is to be real about it, by trusting God; there may be a purpose in it for you.  It might help others to their freedom.  Same with your anxiety.

I can tell you I’ve endured depression several times and had my moments and seasons racked with anxiety, and I don’t doubt there will be more in the future.  Isn’t that encouraging?  You and I are not alone.  We don’t need to pretend that we are stronger than we are, because the Bible tells us it’s only when we are weak that we are genuinely strong (2 Corinthians 12:10).  Doesn’t that flip our intelligence on its head?!

We don’t need to resort to the cheapening of our emotions.  Those who truly love us will allow us to be who we actually are, in any and every moment of our lives.

Ultimately, when all is said and done, I recognise that it’s only when we’re with people who will allow us to be who we are that we can let our guard down and be who we are.

And as someone who I respect as has said, be very well aware to discern those who can and should be trusted and trust them.  It is horrendous to have opened up and to have trusted when such a trust is eventually betrayed.  But, as I often say, I would much rather before the sight of God be the betrayed than the unrepentant betrayer. 

Sitting safely in a traumatic moment of déjà vu

Today I had a bizarre experience.  I went for scans on a shoulder, having been so foolish to make a dive in F grade cricket where I landed on my shoulder awkwardly.  The bowling that day didn’t help either, of course, though it was fun at the time.  So I went in for my scan, having had an x-ray beforehand.  The scan was easy enough, and then I was off to a meeting with my pastors’ peer group.  On the way for my son’s school pick up, I could hear my phone ringing.  On arrival at school, I picked it up and dialled 101, to then get a message to call the radiology clinic.

At this point it seemed a bit strange, especially given they wanted me to come back in as soon as I could to have another scan.  I put that off to them having not done the scan properly.  Little did I expect that this follow-up scan would throw me into the land of déjà vu — to see something I’d already seen.

It wasn’t until the sonographer had re-scanned the shoulder and then had departed from the room to get the doctor that I sensed I had been here before.  July 1, 2014, to be exact.

It is hard to put into words just how I felt.  The thing is, when we went to the sonographer on July 1, 2014, we were told to go and then come back.  When we arrived back, we had another scan, and then the sonographer went immediately out to get the doctor.

Today, as the sonographer went out to go see the doctor, I was shunted back to that fateful day when we were told there was something mortally wrong with Nathanael’s scan — heart transposed, diaphragmatic hernia, enlarged kidneys, etc.  It was the commencement of four long months before he was died in labour — stillborn.

While I waited for the sonographer today, I fully foresaw the doctor coming in to give me the worst of news.  I was preparing myself for, “You’ve got cancer,” or something like that.  Now I know some of you will say, “Oh, you’re just being silly,” but the nostalgic feeling was palpable and though I wasn’t panicked in the slightest I couldn’t shake it from my mind.

Why do I even write this?  I guess I just want to put it out there.  Once we’ve experienced a trauma, a very similar circumstance takes us right back there to the memory of it.  I also want to say that the conversation I was having with myself pivoted around, “It feels the same as 2014 but it won’t be the same.”  We need to recognise that situations and circumstances don’t always or even often repeat themselves.  Having my son there for the five minutes the sonographer was gone, I focused on chatting with him and what he’d done at school, even though I was hyperaware of my surroundings, noting the exact minute on the sonographer’s display, the light in the room, the jumper on the bench, even the feeling in my shoulder.  I kept reassuring myself that everything was alright and that, like in 2014 when we received the worst news, I would be able to endure the moment if the worst news was about to be heard.

As it happened, there was no visit from the doctor, and the sonographer just had to check because there was something of an anomaly to reconcile.  All ended well.

We never know what we will arrive out of left field to remind us of something we can never forget.  In those moments, it’s got to be a prayer that we can talk ourselves through it, that we can rationalise it, or at the very least that we can rest on good help if we need to.  And there’s no shame in any of this.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Why people give up

People give up because life is too hard,
because people are too hard,
because too hard is too hard.

People give up because they can’t afford to live,
because they have too much pain,
yes, too much... that isn’t difficult to understand!

People give up because they lose hope,
one too many times; it’s usually after 1000s of times —
giving up doesn’t happen in a vacuum.

People give up because of what people think of them,
and though you may say, “Don’t worry about it!”
you really don’t care to understand.

People give up having tried their best for years,
to establish themselves, to achieve equality, to earn respect,
when these things should be givens, out of love.
Years after stinking years.

People give up because they can’t change their skin colour,
the way they look, feel, what they do and don’t do;
for all sorts of reasons.

People give up not knowing just how much they’re loved,
or for feeling guilty for being loved so much,
in situations where two loves pass like ships in the night.

People give up because they were idealistic enough to believe
they could have an impact in this world,
and, guess what, sad as it’s to say, they perhaps never felt they did.
That is shockingly sad.

People give up for a moment to indefinitely,
an hour, a day, a week, a year,
and sometimes they learn a great deal in their giving up.
Sometimes it’s a waste of time.

People give up because the cost is too much,
the currency is pain, and life feels constantly
like an ongoing crushing disaster.

People give up because people are frail,
you and I, well I don’t know about you,
I certainly am — and I don’t care what that says about me.

People give up because they’re attacked,
and their friends watch on without a word,
and a person feels more alone than who knows what.

People give up.
They do.
Legitimately so.

People give up, again and again,
and though they do,
they pick themselves up again.

People give up and some actually die,
and that’s not a truth anyone can deny.

People give up, and if there’s one thing you can do,
be ready for that time, when you’ll be feeling blue.

If you’re at that point of wondering why,
don’t give up on life and agree to die.

Know that people give up.
Accept that it’s true.
Don’t cast onto them more guilt.
It’s enough to be a friend.

Everyone’s allowed to give up every once in a while.

~

This article is code for, I’m taking a break.

Please take good care of yourself.  You being here is EVERYTHING.

International helplines: https://checkpointorg.com/global/

Photo by George Bakos on Unsplash

Your world needs the real you and you need that too

The thing that stands between where we are and where we want to be is us, ourselves, being transparent and backing our ability to communicate messages about what we think and feel.  Where we exist and are unable to do this, we cannot grow, we can’t thrive, and we will barely survive.  But where we feel safe, where we are not concerned about how we will be received or perceived, is where we need to be in the long term.  In safe places, we have room to grow and heal, to bloom into what we are to become.

In the world that struggles for authenticity, where more and more we may feel silenced or that we are unable to speak, it is all the more important that we speak up.  This is for our own health.  In a recent devotion I was asked to give on mental health (with a pandemic flavour), I felt compelled to share my own struggles through this period, including the story of a couple of really dark days, as a call to the people there to be open and transparent with the people they trust.

It’s never easy to be totally honest when it comes to our worst mental health days, because it involves tremendous vulnerability, because we wonder if it will shape people’s perceptions of us.  It usually does, but not in bad ways.  Notice as you look around your room where you are being honest, and you can see people are looking into themselves.  In such moments, where we open up in safe spaces, people are not so much focused on us and our story; they are taking our story into themselves.  It may look like they are having a deer-in-headlights moment, but in that moment, they are meeting themselves, and it is transformative for them.

Our worlds need us to be who we are, transparent and open, presuming we are in a safe place, because when we are transparent and open, others are emboldened to be transparent and open.  As we are courageous, we give others the license to be courageous.  As we are open and transparent about our journey, we open up space for others to share into.  Not only do we, ourselves, prosper in being open and transparent, so we are heard, we give others permission to open up and be transparent with us, so they are heard.  Just about nothing else is required for healing.  Indeed, much of therapy is involved in being completely honest in a safe space, which presumes acceptance and care couched in wisdom and discernment.

A key reason our world needs us to be transparent and open is our world is made safer that way.  As we are transparent and open, we say to our world, “you can be too.”  The world is crying out for space to communicate what really needs to be said.  None of this is a threat to anyone.  Nobody ought to feel threatened about someone else’s honesty, about somebody else saying how they feel, and explaining the personal impact of things.  If only we had a world that allowed everyone to share honestly, where everyone could be honest, where everyone was honest.  Of course, not everyone wants to be honest, and for many it works against their aims for they prefer to be dishonest.  But for those who desire to live in freedom, who desire a safe and beautiful world, it begins with us being able to communicate.  As we communicate in truth, we create a culture where others wish to communicate, too.  And collectively we are all better for it.

Photo by Andrew Robert Lauko on Unsplash