‘Welcome’ to the Club Nobody Wants to Belong To

There’s a harsh reality,

In the mode of grief,

We can know that it’s loss,

When occurrence is a thief,

Thieved of our rights,

To life indeed,

Putting life on hold,

Because of sorrow’s bleed.

It’s a life of death,

Or so it seems,

What on earth happened,

To all of my dreams?

Oh it’s happened,

Life’s sought to snub,

What did I do,

To qualify for this club?

Of course I’m uncertain,

Of course I care,

But this club could help me,

Understand why life’s unfair.

***

Grief entitles us to membership in a club none of us want to belong to: the Grieving. But as twosomes gather together, with similar backgrounds of loss, there is a sweet ministry that occurs through the power of God’s healing Spirit.

There is the coherence between loss and the ministry of connection. Experiences of loss are complete mystery so far as their meaning is concerned – the comprehensive nature of the harrowing pain involved. But by the ministry of connection, and if sharing life with the like-minded, even if that means sharing membership in a club nobody wants to belong to, there is healing – as journeys are enjoined and meaning is slowly made.

It is one of the beautiful rules-of-thumb of life that we do far better in community in the face of hardship, loss and grief, significant life adjustment, recovery, and even in trying to achieve what we previously haven’t. Other people give us perspectives that we cannot always glean for ourselves. And it’s not just any other person. The people we need are other people who will understand, or who will attempt with all they have to come to an understanding that complements ours. Their interest is in what we need, and we are grateful for their care.

There is safety and oneness in community where understanding blossoms. In such an environment new friendships emerge and take to the shape of what life has now become. This is how God works in and through people to assist our recoveries.

It therefore bodes us well to find the right aspect of community to cling to in loss; to not become isolated, even if that means we now belong to a club nobody wants to belong to.

***

It bears repeating. Grief entitles us to membership in a club none of us want to belong to: the Grieving. But as two or three gather together, with similar backgrounds of loss, there is a sweet ministry that occurs through the power of God’s healing Spirit.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.