Attack of Ego or Spirit of Attack?

TUSSLES ETERNAL are waged as we speak – they wrestle for us. We are pawns in a game for the enemy and deliverance stands at the mere presence of God’s angels who are eternally camped in and among us, as individuals and as a body of Christ.

The stakes regarding these tussles are elevated when Satan’s frail kingdom is under threat. We might imagine Satan’s kingdom is more a fabrication of his own ego, but by our willingness to enter into sin we agree to abide in areas of our lives.

Like many Christians, I have experienced spiritual attack and I acknowledge the ever present threat of spiritual warfare. Yet, I also see people make far too much of the issue of spiritual attack – when it is easier to explain matters more logically in plain sight. I think we are foolish to either undermine or overplay the issues of spiritual warfare. Finding a balance between both extremes of folly, however, I find, is a mystery.

An open mind toward these matters I think is essential.

But I would like to make an observation: recently I felt under the presence of attack, but was it ego or something more sinister? Well, I answered that question as being something of the latter when I enquired of it, honestly. “Lord, show me my ego in this...” NOTHING. Nothing, but a sense of weakness came over me, a sense of soul-sickness that manifest as a presence of nausea, but not of typical nausea – nauseated feelings within my stomach, but nothing physically disabling. I was somewhat disoriented within myself as I bore this attack – I was in a room with about 15 other people. Quickly I came to acknowledge, in the light of my honest enquiry, surrendering my ego to the Lord, that the truth was before me. I still don’t know what to think, and I have learned that reflective deliberation is best – no quick findings!

But, what did I do to help myself in this situation. I drew close to God. I moved away from the group – not that it was anything to do with them – and spent time alone with God. It worked for me. It was all I could do.

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Whether ‘attacks’ are driven by the ego or by dark spiritual forces is a moot point, unless we enquire of them. Attacks that rest only at the level of the mind seem to me a battle of the will, and are perhaps ego-driven. But attacks that send the heart into turmoil, causing physical manifestations like dizziness, weakness, nausea, etc, these I think may well be attacks of dark spirits themselves. What are we to do? Draw close to God!

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.