When you’re about to give up, give yourself time

“At those moments when you feel like giving up, give yourself 48 hours,” said my wife in another salient bout of wisdom recently.  It reminds me of the best advice I got in a performance review at the end of last year: “hasten slowly.”

Wisdom, like truth, often lags well behind the instantaneous rash decision made on the spur of the moment, perhaps when we’re triggered by something awful.

This is the biblical principle of Matthew 11:19.

So many of our most regrettable actions occur in the heat of the moment, and whilst good and safe relationships will allow some ‘bend’ to the degree of emotional flimsiness (which is nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of), it always feels better to have PAUSED in the striking heat of the problematic instant.

Obviously we have the opportunity to forgive ourselves the little transgressions that God certainly allows by divine grace.

If in the heat of the perplexing moment, the frustration, the anxiety, the overwhelm, we may simply let off steam without having it boil over others; certainly to the degree of rash things done, like quitting a job, ending a relationship, making a big financial decision, or worse.

All these are done best when weighed with discretion and a few other wise views if the opportunity affords itself.

When we’re about to give up, sometimes we don’t see the rainbow immediately over the horizon.  We don’t see how God can resurrect in the morning what feels despairing of the night.  This is illustrated in the biblical principle of Psalm 30:5.

So often it’s the following day after we’ve been ready to give it all away that our perspective returns.  And folks, this is all normal within the realm of human experience.  Let us not allow people to make us feel silly or insane for some emotional instability.

It is a simple message, and one well worth the praise of God.

“Thank You, Lord, that You stilled my heart and calmed my mind in the midst of an emotional storm, when panic brewed large, when frustration threatened to blow up into fury, when I didn’t know what to do.  Thank You, Lord, for the humility only You can give that says, ‘better will come’.  Thank You, Lord, for the restraint that comes by putting You first.”  Amen.

As a disclaimer for this, I’m not saying that reacting poorly to abuse is your fault.  That’s a separate matter that inspires only empathy.

Photo by Kaylah Matthews on Unsplash