I’m always amazed by how even a single word fires off something in my brain to connect with material that is already swirling around, which in turn connects to a concept to write about. I’m a reluctant writer most of the time. I would prefer to be doing my ‘ministry’ in other ways. But such is life.
So, here’s the thought. The word “revamp” reminds me of a concept I’ve been thinking on a lot of late. Several of those who I’ve seen over the time I’ve counselled have battled with emotional vampires; those people who tend to suck lifeblood out of them. These instances of vampirism, though they have proven exhausting, are also revelatory, if we will go down within ourselves to listen, to learn, to resolve.
I think I’ve received a four-stage process for inquiry that may help us in our method for revamping when we’ve been ‘vamped’: up, down, in, out.
§ up to God in faith that God has a method to heal and restore us.
§ down then to our innermost parts...
§ in order to go in... deeply, through the process of inquiry
§ as a way of coming out... with revelation that God has for us.
I don’t know if that helps, but it seems a useful process to put out there at this point.
People-situations where we may be or feel vamped:
§ people who demand more of our time than we’re able or prepared to give, whether they openly insist upon this or not
§ people who we love but whom continuously bring contentious, even unsolvable issues
§ situations that involve too much time pressure to do something
§ situations that compromise our ability to do other things
§ situations that compromise our relationships
§ situations that require the compromise of our standards of what is right
§ situations that compromise what would be our boundaries – that force us to consider boundaries
§ people who continuously won’t take no for an answer
Ways in which we may be revamped having been vamped:
§ identify when it’s occurred...
o the circumstances, including the environment where we may have surrendered our safety (or been required to surrender our safety)
o the person or people, and what they demanded of us, and whether they demanded of us in an intentional or an insistent way or not
§ assess the methods of vamping that have exhausted us – especially those that present dire future risk
§ ask if there’s any way we may protect ourselves better in future
§ explore the methods we can use to recover from the exhaustion we may experience
§ be open to ideas around how our own neediness might have contributed to the process of our being vampirised – it’s okay to admit this, because we can’t improve if we’re not honest
§ be compassionate toward those ones who vamp us who will have no idea about the effect they have on us
§ be disciplined and purposeful toward those who may have every idea that they’re entitled to vamp us
§ be ready to inculcate upon the concept of owning the learning moment to protect ourselves in today’s energy market
§ investigate the actual costs of allowing someone to vampirise us
§ be aware of the hidden moments where we become unknowingly vampirised, and realise too late afterwards
§ pray for the insight to develop boundaries
§ pray for the courage to institute boundaries
Photo by László Glatz on Unsplash
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