One of the most encouraging things any of us can do for another person is to tell the truth about how we feel. It gives them permission to tell the truth about how they feel. It gives us both license to be real within ourselves and with each other.
We love it when we can be our real selves, especially regarding the struggles we have. It is freedom. And this applies much more so to the Christian than it does to everyone else, because so many of us have become accustomed to wearing a mask. How ironic at this COVID-19 time!
Although as Christians we’re commanded and empowered to tell the truth, we’re also more likely to hide our truth, for shame and guilt that perhaps our faith doesn’t work; that we don’t trust God enough. We are conditioned to present an image that is full of joy, hope and peace. Christians around us may project that image. It’s hard to be open when the culture around us can seem to discourage it. Is it any wonder that people with mental health issues don’t want to go anywhere near a church?
But, we know that depression and other mental illnesses don’t discriminate, and that they’re incredibly complex, and that just as many Christians battle with mental health issues as non-Christians do. Having depression, anxiety or post-traumatic stress disorder, or some other condition, doesn’t whatsoever correlate with weak faith. Indeed, those with mental health challenges may know deep down within themselves that they have a faith strong enough to get through their adversity one day, sometimes a single moment, at a time.
In fact, it takes exceptionally greater faith to keep stepping with the Lord through the dark nights of the soul. And it’s this faith, if only others knew what we were dealing with, that would inspire others. If only we have the courage to share how hard it is, we may stand to be encouraged, and we may be a source of encouragement, simply because we have stripped off the mask. See how brave a person needs to be to tell a truth laced with inconvenience and vulnerability? But of course we need to know our truth will be accepted, even embraced, and that we won’t face embarrassment or ridicule for it.
It’s good to be real about our depression and anxiety because an unnecessary burden is immediately relieved; we no longer have to carry the arduous weight of a lie! We no longer need to prop up a perception, carry off a deceit, or project that we have it all together.
When we live openly in the light of the truth — that life is hard, each and every day, or most days — then we stand to be encouraged by others for the courage we’ve shown. This equips others to employ their courage.
Being honest about where our mental health is helps to inspire others to be honest. And when two people can be honest with each other, they give each other permission to be real, and there is no greater gift or blessing. We have a chance to become who we are.
Perhaps the purpose of your depression is to be real about it, by trusting God; there may be a purpose in it for you. It might help others to their freedom. Same with your anxiety.
I can tell you I’ve endured depression several times and had my moments and seasons racked with anxiety, and I don’t doubt there will be more in the future. Isn’t that encouraging? You and I are not alone. We don’t need to pretend that we are stronger than we are, because the Bible tells us it’s only when we are weak that we are genuinely strong (2 Corinthians 12:10). Doesn’t that flip our intelligence on its head?!
We don’t need to resort to the cheapening of our emotions. Those who truly love us will allow us to be who we actually are, in any and every moment of our lives.
Ultimately, when all is said and done, I recognise that it’s only when we’re with people who will allow us to be who we are that we can let our guard down and be who we are.
And as someone who I respect as has said, be very well aware to discern those who can and should be trusted and trust them. It is horrendous to have opened up and to have trusted when such a trust is eventually betrayed. But, as I often say, I would much rather before the sight of God be the betrayed than the unrepentant betrayer.
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