Kindness and forgiveness at the most stressful time of our lives

To say we live in stressful times is an understatement, and despite so many putting on a brave face and sharing all their wonderful humour, deeper down everyone it seems gets the gravity of the COVID-19 situation.

When we are stressed what shows up most of all is the underlying anxiety we cannot alleviate. Nobody likes being anxious, and we are forgiven for feeling very uncertain in these times.

It really doesn’t matter what our faith conviction is when we face how our bank accounts will plummet or consider the possibility of losing our loved ones.

When the ambient stress levels rise so significantly like they have done, we can expect there will be even more conflict than normal:

·      on the roads, 

·      in our workplaces, 

·      in the disagreements we have about how to manage this situation, 

·      in our homes, 

·      and especially in shopping centres (of all places!).

The everyday disagreements we have with the people we know and otherwise trust put extra strain on our relationships, and if we are not committed to keeping a short account, we may put such relationships to the test.

Sometimes relationships fracture, and yes, even over a single event of disagreement!  This is always such a preventable tragedy.

And I’m sure you’ve noticed how knowledgeable we all seem to have become in that last few weeks!  (One way we can see we’ve lost our kindness is when we prove how right we are to those we’re in conversation with.  Well, we may be right but sometimes the way we say things is deadset wrong.  It reminds me how Paul said, “Knowledge puffs up while love builds up,” in 1 Corinthians 8:33.)

Now is the time when we can acknowledge how much stress we are under and how much stress others are under, and we can afford to be a little more lenient with others in terms of how hurt we feel over transgressions that we could easily forgive.

We can be kind in our responses with others, acknowledging that their responses may well be pre-packaged in understandable levels of fear.

If we are honest, and it doesn’t matter how Christian we are, we might also acknowledge that we have many things that we are uncertain of; our plans for instance, and our worries for our elderly relatives, notwithstanding the tenuous times we face financially.

One of the great things about being alive in such unprecedented times is we get to see how much a shared and cohesive humanity insists upon working together.

As we forgive each other of the uncharacteristic transgressions we do to each other, we acknowledge and accept that these indiscretions are the fear talking and the stress releasing.

As we do a kindness for someone who is otherwise being rude, we get to show them the grace that a stress-evoked response needs.  And when we’re proactive in being kind, it may alleviate another’s anxiety even if for that moment.

People just need kindness and space
right now, to think, to process, to be.

Not being able to forgive someone who has acted in an uncharacteristic way because they’re stressed simply may show us how much the stress and strain of the current situation is taking a toll on us.

We will get through these times if we work together and forgive, and as we also apologise where we need to.

More thoughts here on forgiveness and apology.

Photo by Andrea Tummons on Unsplash