I write a lot on loss and the grief
that comes out of it. I write about my responses, yet hopefully never in ways
in which to say, “this-or-that is right and this-or-that is wrong.”
The truth of matters is that your response
to your situation is best for you as it is discerned by you, and given the
information you have at hand, anyone else would make the same response if they
were in your situation.
Your response to loss is as viable
as anyone’s. Though you, yourself, may consider it leaves something to be
desired, which causes you to seek feedback, and therefore you’re able to
improve your response. The point is that you, yourself, are best placed to make
an honest self-assessment. But that’s where, as individuals, we can fall short.
We make judgments of comparison all the time, when all God requires of us is self-assessment and self-management; to deal with our stuff, not someone else’s.
It needs to be said, however, that
there are many responses that are perfectly adequate for the varying situations
that these responses warrant. One method works for one person better than that
same method will work for another.
Your best response is good enough
to get the ball of recovery and restoration rolling.
So, improve if you can, but accept
that God has granted you a mind for getting good results from being a little
bit different from the next person.
When we finally accept our path to forgiveness
or grief or resilience is as viable for us as others’ paths are for them, we
feel less pressure to conform to one set way of doing things, and we sense
God’s freedom. And that freedom bleeds the blood of love. God has made a
plethora of viable ways to reconcile matters.
Love has no pressure for the way of
things. It accepts there are thousands of viable ways to do a thing.
***
Whether it’s forgiveness, grief or
resilience, nobody wants your issue reconciled more that you do. You have the
best vested interest, so believe in your best method for recovery and give it
all you’ve got. Most of all, don’t compare. Keep believing in the recovery of reconciliation.
So, may you be blessed in knowing
God is with you, encouraging you to continue going your way. He will never
leave you, nor forsake you. And if there is a challenge to your modus operandi,
God will challenge you in believing the new method is possible and worth every
effort you’ll need to make.
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