“Torture: knowing something makes no sense, but doing it
anyways.”
― Corey
Ann Haydu
Many psychoses feature the inability to discern reality from fantasy, but with Obsessive
Compulsive Disorder (OCD) sufferers generally know their compulsions aren’t
logical, but they are unable to stop, often without a great deal of specialist
help.
It can seem totally nonsensical to anyone who the world might consider ‘normal’,
but the truth is fear doesn’t discriminate. Besides, we are all fearful of some
things, and many people are able to conceal their phobias. Add to this the
issues of our dreams and nightmares, where our unconscious fears awaken when we
are in deep sleep.
There is only one productive and hope-filled approach in dealing with
someone else’s OCD – it’s about compassion, empathy, and patience.
Compassion for the ailing – a mental issue gestating into the emotions
where fears rage and safety is never the outcome felt. It’s not hard to feel
compassion when we see the pain someone else is in and mutate into it, as if it
were our own. Thinking of one of our children being afflicted, compassion has
become us, but for someone who is an onlooker it mightn’t be so easy. Frankly,
what people connected to the OCD world need is understanding. That drives
compassion and empathy.
Compassion is the ability to actually feel into the situation of focus
and feel in truth.
Empathy is driven out of compassion. It is the preparedness to get up
out of our seat and serve the person afflicted with OCD or their family carer,
or simply treat them as normal people. It’s being nice because they deserve it.
Empathy is always action oriented.
Patience is a quality that the carer needs and it’s crucial also for the
sufferer. It’s not an easy thing to acquire and developing patience requires
patience.
Sometimes recovery is tantalisingly insane and there are frequent
departures into despair. There are many times when we will feel we are getting
worse than nowhere. Still, in all of it, it’s patience that we find is blessed.
At times like this patience always feels totally unreasonable.
***
Those who suffer from OCD and their carers and loved ones need
compassion and empathy. Compassion is feeling for them; empathy is taking
caring steps. Patience on the road to recovery is paramount, especially during
despairing moments. Patience can seem illogical and unreasonable, but patience
is faith. Patience is never the wrong approach.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.
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