We don’t know the
fear,
They hold so
dear,
Within the
ventricles
Of their
spiritual hearts.
We never know
what’s dire,
Or what’s lit
their fire,
Until our empathy,
Warmth and compassion starts.
FEAR is a common driver of the unconscious
mind motivated to protect what’s dear. People operating in fear may never quite
make the connection as to why they do what they do. Maybe it’s
all they know. Perhaps it’s the only reaction they have in their armoury.
Possibly fear reactions are a habit – it tends to be for all of us; just our
default to fear comes from different sources.
Given this propensity to become insolvent
to the faith and wisdom needed to go another, better way, we don’t know what we
don’t know. And others may easily become upset by our differing and polarised
views.
What works best in the situation of a
fearful person – one who cannot go but their way – who cannot rationalise or
reason – is the space of love; the willingness of grace that goes forth in
loving helpings of empathy.
Seeing and Responding as
God Might – As God Can
We are not God and we never will be, but
our Lord will grant us his sight and feel for things whenever we truly submit
ourselves to his heart for those things – those things being people.
As we consider what others have been
through – considering the difficulties we have been through – we can begin to
understand. They have their issues (the stressors of life, relationships, etc),
their background (abuse they were exposed to, perhaps, and the associated
fears, etc), their biology (what they received from their parents, including
propensities for mental ills), and their brokenness (other experiences of life
that have left them destitute for a viable, workable response).
With all these factors of past taken into
account it’s much easier to see their actions in context. Whatever is driven by
fear (anger, stubbornness, etc) can be seen as driven by underlying factors
that we, too, would experience if we were them.
This knowledge softens us. We are much more
warm, compassionate, and empathic when we know what’s ‘lit their fire’ – and
how we see the situation how they see it.
***
Given other people’s issues, background,
biology, and brokenness – their ‘stuff’ in sum – we would react the very same
way. It’s easy to experience an uncommon and godly empathy when we weigh
others’ circumstances truly.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.
I really have needed to hear this; 'been praying for empathy...and it is shockingly true.. fear is insidious; awareness of it's power brings freedom, thanks!
ReplyDeleteand thank your wife for me!