“In the Christian life we know most when we
know that we do not know, and we understand best when we know that we
understand little and that there is much that we will never understand.”
—A.W. Tozer
It is truly humbling to be a human
being.
This is a problem. Pride is our
vanity and we wear it with brash abandon. We think we know when we do not know,
and we only learn the error of our ways when it’s too late. We are humble in
retrospect. We learn humility from shame. We often learn the hard way.
Simply put, misunderstandings are
commonplace, personally and interpersonally.
Take the Pressure Down
When we learn to expect less from
others, and we understand afresh more of our own frailties, we can be inspired
to take the pressure down so far as understanding is concerned.
Our expectations become lower. We
come to accept misunderstandings are more the rule than the exception. We begin
to predict mistakes of perception. We make fewer assumptions. And indeed, we
can laugh more about life, appreciating the humanity within commonplace
misunderstandings. The misunderstandings may not be humorous in themselves, but
the fact that misunderstandings occur—that we, as humans, are given to such
mistakes—is characteristically comical.
When we take life as a bunch of
mistakes in daily experience we take the pressure down and come to appreciate
more the genial nature of common human fellowship.
There Is Freedom Without When There Is
Freedom Within
We know as soon as we expect less
of ourselves, as far as knowledge is concerned, in social spaces, that we
approach listening with different ideas for understanding.
The moment we enter conversation
where there is a freedom within us to simply listen is the moment the rapport
between two people can begin to transcend misunderstanding. Human
communications were always meant to be a meeting of the minds. We can only
achieve this when one gives way to another, to join with them in their meaning.
Maybe the key to becoming a good
listener is having a sense of freedom within, so the mental and emotional
spaces are receptive. Only when we are available to the other person can we
begin to understand them.
***
Accepting that misunderstandings
are commonplace brings much peace within. When we expect little understanding we
are prepared to work harder to create it. When entering conversations we know
it’ll take effort to understand. We know we will have to check our
misunderstandings.
It takes situational courage to
admit we don’t know.
There is much commonality between
misunderstanding and humanity. We know less than we think we know. And there
are some things we will never know. Accepting this brings much peace.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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